Indian Lovers Create New Positions

“Jeez Paddy, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me”, says an obviously embarrassed Mick, “but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor.I took a bird back to mine for sex last night. After some complaints for the first five minutes like,”Stop, you’re too big!” And,”Please No, you’re really hurting me now!” The fat cow eventually rolled off me and let me go on top.As I staggered into the living room and sat down on the sofa, my wife looked at me and said, “Can you not just go out and have a couple of fucking drinks?”“Of course I can,” I replied, standing back up. “Just let me get my coat.When my precious little dog fell in the river Mersey, a German tourist jumped in the freezing water and saved him.Upon getting back on the pier, he checked my puppy out and said, “Ze dog is ok, he vill be fine.”Out of curiosity I asked, “Are you a vet?”He replied, “Vet? I’m fuken soaked!I have realised. This will just take a minute."Fifteen minutes of completely inconsequential yack yack later, Four disconnected and Vee tried the Commissioner ... again."Your pad has been busy," the Commissioner said."Mother," Vee said.Gary, being a son, understood. Such interruptions of his very busy life continued to this very day. Mothers want to KNOW and work or job be damned, they want to know now."Did you reassure your secretary?" Vee asked."Yes, she thought you were magnanimous." Reactions like that are the reason I don't tell people what I am, if they figure it out ... it's their own fault. I pee sitting down just like half the population of the country." Human?" Yup." What can I do for you?" You know I can't drive." Yes ... but you fly." Because my principal mode of transportation is flight, Principal Standish said I was going to have an aircraft provided that 'fit my qualifications, to wit; multi-engine, Instrument Flight Rules, aerobatic, jet, turbine and radial engine qualified. The staff.
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